...A Kid's Game

There's a statement that gets thrown around a lot by players and it says something to the effect of "I get to play a kids game." The crazy part is this is so true with the exception of actual kids games. Unfortunately, the perspective of what the game is (and isn't) has been lost for the youth.

Over the last couple of years I have been watching some youth basketball. It is starting to pain me to go. Not much about it is enjoyable anymore when you see how the adults interact with the game. Everyone wants their child to be great which is completely understandable. I'm learning there is a fine line between supporting the child and disrespecting the game. Parents and mentors have gone so far as to have physical altercations at these games. For clarification purposes, I am referring to children under the age of 10.

I recently went to a game for 8U AAU basketball. There was parent/coach that was kicked out for his remarks to the ref. A parent on the sidelines was coaching his kid in the middle of the game. By coaching, I mean, called his son to the stands instead of letting his son go with the rest of the team during a timeout. Other parents were harassing the refs and the scorekeeper, who by the way was a young teenager responsible for keeping stats and running the clock by herself. You can call it a perfect storm but this is becoming too frequent. There are Youtube videos of parents fighting over the games. I have been to other games where parents said the refs were cheating because they didn't call every call. There were parents upset when a coach stepped on the floor to help a kid that was confused as well as being impatient with a ref for explaining a rule to a kid.

This is how I know all perspective is lost. These kids have trouble tying their shoes and some adults expect them to play at a professional level. The children are still learning basic life skills. Let them learn the game (at 8 years old) and allow those who are teaching them the freedom to teach. Give them the space to make mistakes and time to understand what they are doing. If your child is on a team, allow the coach to coach them for the hour or two that the child is playing for them. Two things happen when you don't. They get confused by the difference in "coaching philosophy" and the kid becomes no longer coachable. You are making them choose between listening to their coach or their parent. The parent will win every time and then the coach becomes moot. The kid will no longer be mentally in the game as they will be looking in the stands every time something happens on the court.

Whether the parent knows it or not, this behavior can cause future situations to become missed opportunities. And its not because of the kid. Coaches and scouts look at more than just the player on the court, everything that might affect the player is also taken into account. At times its the parents who are the headache that cause teams to pass on players. Unfortunately, its showing up on players who still read and count with their fingers.

What I have come to learn is when adults act in such an overbearing manner, they see the child as their ticket. There is a loss of humanity to the child. People forget the kids are supposed to be having fun and enjoying this time. The sport becomes a job too early. Just think, for the next 10 plus years this is their focus. That doesn't include the years for college and possibly going pro.

When its all said and done, let the kids learn and grow into the game. They have time to get great. They have time to get it right. They just need the adults to show patience and enjoy the kids playing a kid's game.